Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Had my mother over for a mother's day brunch. We ate gluten-free pancakes with yogurt, granola, maple syrup, and strawberry jam. We drank vanilla rooibos tea. She enjoyed herself immensely, which is exactly what I was aiming for.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
I wanted to give you all a short update on my health. A lot has happened over the past few weeks, and I haven't shared any of it; I've been focusing on living in those in-between moments instead, the ones that have nothing to do with my body and how it feels. So to make a very long story short: Found a wonderful doctor, one who has experienced the exact type of problem that I've had for so long (bonus!), had 15 steroid shots put into the muscles around my shoulders and neck, and now I'll be going back tomorrow for another injection in my spine, one that will help with the slight bulge I have in one disc and the arthritis (I'm actually 80) that I have in several. I'm not all that apprehensive over the actual procedure...I'm more concerned with how I'll feel afterward. The last round wasn't a picnic; I was extremely nauseated and achy for several days.
I've reached that point where I'm willing to try anything, just to see. And if it causes suffering, then...so be it. Suffering is something I'm well acquainted with. It passes. I'm not a hard-ass by any means, but I've learned that much about pain, that it will eventually move on, or morph into something else.
The thing is--and I'm trying and failing to not get ahead of myself here--is that this could be the thing. The thing that finally helps enough to get me back to the person I remember being.
Maybe I could dance again one day. I almost can't fathom it. It's too much.
Calm, calm, calm. I know. I have stocked up on oatmeal and broth and bananas and prayers. I'm waiting.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
|wild tulip and sun rose; pencil and watercolor on cold-pressed paper|
I've abandoned the typical chores today, favoring instead pulling weeds and painting. My mind is full of frustration and questions that can't be answered due to the events in Boston. When everything else is a terrible mess, we can choose to create something beautiful. We're given that much power.